What meaning..

As you probably noticed, I haven’t posted for a while. I’m not really busy, and I do want to post. I just can’t seem to find anything to post about.

You know, if you look back, you’ll see all my posts have some sort of meaning or life lesson to them. I’ve been really trying to find something meaningful but I just wasn’t successful. It’s like sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can’t find meaning in anything. Or maybe I’ve been trying too hard to put a meaning on everything I see. I guess sometimes there’s no meaning.

Not just in blogging. I’m talking about life here too.

Maybe it’s just the depression of going to school on Monday, but nothing says ‘Life is meaningless’ than an idle Sunday evening. Nothing is happening. You look out the window every few minutes and it gets darker and darker and you are waiting for something to happen, for someone to say something, but it’s dead silent. And it goes dark, and you spent your day waiting for nothing. That’s when it hits you. Where are we really going? Is there someone up there who knows where we’re going? Did someone build the road for us? Or is life meaningless?  Do we have a destination? Will we reach our destination, ever? What if everyday is a Sunday? Idle, meaningless, and a waste of time.

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I don’t know.

I’ll never know.

I always wanted to believe in a predetermined life. If I’m meant to be here, I’ll be here no matter what happens. If I’m not meant to be here, no matter how hard I try, it just wont happen. That would give me some security about the things that happen around me.

But what if I’m on my own? That’s scary.

Also that would mean that I came this far on my own, but still. The possibility of everything crashing down in a blink of an eye is scary. I hope it’s not like that.

I don’t know.

I’ll never know.

Don’t try too hard. You won’t know either. Meaning of life is way beyond our little brains. Or, maybe we can’t really find an answer, because there are none. No meaning whatsoever. I guess after this is all over, we’ll talk about it on the other side.

 

Cheers,

Arian J. Salari

 

 

 

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